I believe, as I have mostly, that all I need to do, is the best that I can do. At any given time. Whenever I am doing that, things are at their peak. Even when things do not work out the way I would have wished them to be, or hoped they would turn out, I am happy. Because at least… I tried. However, when I do not give it my best, even when I give it my worst, I confidently, albeit regrettably, deal with the consequences. I take responsibility for my own lack of effort without justification. I do seek understanding of course, after all, this is how one learns, but no need to point the finger and try to escape blame in order for things to be OK.

Why?

Because it is always OK. Bad things happen. They will always happen, in as much as they always have. I will fail. That is inevitable. The question simply is, will I learn from it, and more importantly, what will I learn? Will this lesson actually turn out to be opposing the path I would have loved to go on? or will it actually improve upon it?

That is to say, for instance: I end a long relationship. I was in love. The woman I was with has disappointed me, much like all others. Do I decide that I should look for someone who makes sense? Someone with whom it is practical to be with? Such as for instance someone who is weak and is easily led? or do I in fact maintain my standards and learn what features caused the past relationships to end? what characteristics were in common (even the ones that are different) that were the reason why our relationship couldn’t work?

You always need to learn the lessons that give you what you wanted in the first place. And this way, you always move forward. Do not let the past dictate your life. Even though it defines who you are now, it should not influence your future. Meaning, failed experiences or bad ones may add a level of precaution that might have been missing, but shouldn’t negate a new experience, however similar it might be.

In life, all that matters is that you give it your best, that you follow your heart, and find the wisdom to laugh at your mistakes. Always believe that tomorrow can be better than today, even if there are no guaranties of it. The most beautiful thing about the future is that it can not be predicted. It can change. You can change it. You can influence it. All you have to do, is change something today, and tomorrow will follow.

At least in this lifetime, the sun will always rise in the morning and set in the evening. Rise in the East and go to bed in the West. Life may end, but it also goes on. Whether we ride that train or not, these are the facts of life that will not change.

So we might as well get on the train and enjoy the ride.

No matter what you do, you will die. When you die is unknown. You can control it of course. You can put yourself at risk or end your life yourself. But you will most certainly die. It is not a choice.

To live however, is a choice that you have to make. You are alive yes, but are you living? That is the choice you need to make.

Living is about making active choices. It is not a simple matter of accepting circumstances. It is about seizing the moment, taking risks every once in a while and trusting in your heart. Your instinct.

If you want people to believe in you, you first must believe in yourself.

If you want people to like or love you, you first must love yourself.

If you want people to trust you, then you should trust yourself first.

If you want others to change, then change yourself.

This is your life. Only you can live it. So don’t live someone else’s life. Try to live yours first, and if you still have time, then maybe you can give someone else’s life a shot.

I believed, and still do, that relationships should just happen… that a relationship, in its very essence, is about 2 individuals leading their lives in parallel to one another. Like walking on the same path side by side. Also, the Happily Ever After, I believe to be a myth. The social construct of what relationships are, should be destroyed and rebuilt to fit the times and the way that people have become, NOW. While for some it seemed that I was opposing relationships, it was merely an attempt on my part to establish a crucial part of my outlook on life. “You should always find a new way of looking at things, until they appear the way you need them to be”. Changing perspectives is crucial. Case in point, here I am, changing perspectives.

We all seek out relationships, in their many different forms: Friendship, Best Friends, Lovers, Long Term, Short Term, Fleeting…. any form of interaction between you and another person. We also, transition from one point in our lives to the other. Transition from which type of relationship is the one we want most, or need most. The university years, for most people, are about test relationships, where you are trying to find what you like. They are also fleeting affairs just for fun maybe, but for the most part, they are an adventure. You set out into the unknown without much thought or planning, but simply the hope that things are going to be fun.

As the years pass, and more responsibilities are thrust our way, we either change, or get more set in our ways. Some insist on the quick romance, as it offers them an escape without too much trouble (as they would hope), while others seek out the stable amour, which provides peace of mind and comfort. Now, for a while, I used to adhere to one of the two mind frames, I have eventually changed. I now believe in something much different. Much bigger. Much more interesting. More of an extension to previous thoughts.

A stable relationship, or basically long term relationship with someone, is not just about comfort, and peace of mind. It is supposed to be an adventure. Yes, it sounds like a cliche, but the truth is, if there is no excitement in your life, as a couple, if there are no unknowns, or surprises, then what is there? Limbo? Comfort in the usual? if so, then this goes against everything I believe to be at the very essence of who we are as human beings.

Our prerogative, our 1st and golden commandment is Free Will. The freedom to choose. And it is our choices in life that define who we are. It is these choices, and taking responsibility for them, that have allowed humanity to exceed our dreams, and keep on dreaming. So too in relationships, does choice play an important role. What most people forget, is that every day, you choose to be in the relationship; there are no musts, or obligations. There is only choice. Whether you are married or not, the choice is always there. Whether you have children or not, you still have a choice to make. It is a constant, daily decision that you make every morning when you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep. You choose to be with that person, you choose to love her/him, you choose to fight for the relation, you choose to do your best… You choose everything. In the least, when things really are out of your control, you can still choose how to react to them.

What I am basically saying is that when you realize that everything you do, and specially, the relationship you are in, is a matter of choice, a choice that you have to make, you truly achieve freedom. And when you are free, the adventure takes on a whole new face. It is when people feel forced to be in a relationship, for any reason, that things start to get claustrophobic. People who avoid marriage thinking, “how can i stay with just one woman” do not realize this. They believe that signing a piece of paper means a contract for life… This is not marriage. Marriage is finding your best friend and realizing that you want to spend as much time as possible with them. It’s about giving each other space when you need to, and being there for each other when the situation calls for it. You know you are married not early on, but rather at the end of your life. After having spent a lifetime together, you can say you were married. It is basically only upon your death bed that you will look up at the person next to you and finally be able to say: Thank you for being my wife!

Also, when I say the happily ever after is a myth, though the last time around, I referred to the problems after the initial romance, I was talking about the certainty, irrevocable certainty, of the occurrence of problems throughout the relationship. The up times, the moments of happiness and hopeless romance, are the reason why we get into relationships. These are the times that make it all worthwhile, and keep us wanting more, trying to last longer, or as long as possible. The down times, the fighting, arguing, disagreement and all the other stupid and ugly things, are the times when our love for each other is tested. This is when the choice is given us. Every down time, is a chance for us to reassess the relationship we are in. Do we stick it out? Do we try to get over the hurdle? Or do we let go, give up and end what we have?

There is no right or wrong answer. The choice is yours as it always has been and always will be. There definitely will be times when keeping at it will be the option that only one of you will pick. So what then? If it is always a choice, who wins? Right?… wrong. Because even when you make a choice, even when you both choose to end the bond, you must reassess the decision. While going on a whim, or following an impulse is an exhilarating experience, it does not apply to all situations in life. You can not, for instance, quit your job on a whim, when you have a large family depending on you. Any family depending on you. But if you live alone, and lead a single lonely life, then this might be a more valid choice for you. What are the repercussions? Whatever they may be, you alone pay for the consequences. In a relationship however, you are not; there are two of you who will have to suffer the consequences, and this makes the impulsive decision, a very risky and heavy one to make. When you reassess though, something else is happening. You are not throwing away the time you spent together. It did not go to waste. You are giving this precious time its proper value and respect. Remember, you chose to enter the relationship in the first place; you chose to keep at it… why would you throw it all away? The reason has to be a very valid one, for your own sake. This does not mean, however, that you should always stick it out regardless… on the contrary, some reasons, some mistakes are too great to warrant the maintaining of the relationship. But for the most part, things are not so drastic.

So here are some thoughts for you to consider… definitions of sorts:

Romance: The dreamy state of being together and floating on a magic carpet, high in the clouds, with an eternal sunset in the background. Your favorite music filling the air, as you fly together towards the horizon. However long it lasts, it will feel like forever.

Love: Avoiding sleep so as not to miss an opportunity to be with the subject of your love. It’s the smile you get on your face when you see your lover’s smile. The shining glow of being together. It is those moments that can be fleeting instances in a day, or days on end…

Passion: Usually after an absence from one another, however long or short the absence, when you can’t keep your hands off each other. Passionate love making, passionate kissing, long and warm hugs… I am sure you know what I am talking about… and if you don’t… well… I pity you.

Relationships: The daily choice to be with someone, because of the happiness they bring to your life, because of the good they provide… most importantly, because being in one, gives you the opportunity to hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better than today. Grab on to this hope… and come what may… try to never lose it.

We have all been scarred in our lives, from a great relationship gone bad, to the loss of a loved one, betrayal or any strong negative event… and we all were affected in one way or another. While some remained hopeful, others were hurt badly. But the unchanging truth is: There is always hope. Because no two people are the same, and so too, regardless of how strangely similar a current relationship might be to a past one, it remains different and unique. And after all, if you keep doing things the same way…. you shouldn’t be surprised that the results are the same… change things up, and always remember:

You Always Have A Choice.

I choose to hope, that long lasting love, exists… and whatever the risk, whatever the consequence, I pay it gladly.

What do you choose? Share your thoughts, I would love to know!

Disclaimer: Some of you might find this post a bit long, I kept it as short as I could. Thanks for reading and don’t forget to share

For those of you who don’t know, I love exploring nature, and am very glad to be in a country that provides an easy access to some of the most diverse and beautiful nature around. I love hiking and camping, although I would not be considered hardcore.

The great outdoors is where I usually find inner peace… for however fleeting a time. Whether for a day, a weekend or more, any chance I get to go, I will more often than not, take it.

This weekend, was one such trip. I joined the Lebanon Mountain Trail Association (LMTA) on a weekend hike from Barouq to Ain Zhalta to Falougha. And it was spectacular.

This April, as usual, the LMTA organizes a Through Walk, where a team of hikers walk the full length of the LMT trail: an approximate 440km from north to south. During this 28-29 day voyage, they also organize weekend hikes, where a group of people would meet up with the core team (as they are referred to) and accompany them for 2 days. That’s what I am about to share.

While I urge you to go check out the LMTA site, to learn more about their wonderful activities, here’s a quick look:

The Lebanon Mountain Trail was built with the support of USAID, and a team of Lebanese people dedicated to care for Lebanon’s nature and it’s beauty. Each year, many people, both foreign and domestic, hike the length of the trail. It is made up of 26 sections, starting in Qbayyet in the north, and ending in Marjehyoun in the south. Whether you are up there for more than a day, or just a single day hike, you are welcomed to guest houses spread across all the towns where the trail passes. This is part of the Diyyafa program. Locals invite you to stay at their houses, where they offer you rest and home made meals. There are many companies that organize trips along the LMT, personally however, I find it best to go to the source and find out who to go with. For that, you can contact the LMTA and they will be more than happy to share.

Anyway, back to the weekend.

Friday 8th of April 2011, we departed from Hazmieh towards Barouq. We were to spend the night there at a guest house, and hit the trail early morning. The core team that was participating in the Through Walk, which this year they were doing from South to North, was already there, and cleaned up at their guest house. At our own guest house, it was a good opportunity to meet the wonderful people I was going to hike along with for the weekend. While I will spear you the lengthy introductions (for no short intro would do any of them justice) I will point out one particular hiker of importance. Mrs Hana Hibri, author of “A Million Steps”, a book about the LMT. She was part of the first Through Walk organized.

Dinner was great, and loads of fun, as we fired up on conversations and laughs in front of the fire place.

This is the fireplace at the Barouq guest house

Up by 7:30 the next morning,

This the view from the Barouq guest house in the morning

we had breakfast,

Day 1 Breakfast: Manakish (whole wheat) and Cedar Honey

packed our lunch

Day 1 lunch: Cheese sandwich, and Baked Potato sandwich with Juice and an apple!

all of which were prepared by our hosts and set off to the gate of the Barouq reserve. (FYI: the larger backpacks containing our clothes and everything we need to sleep, are kept in the bus that will meet us at our next pit stop. We carry a small pack on our backs containing the essentials for hiking). The weather was cloudy, and I worried that we might not get to see anything. After all it was my very first hike in such conditions, and I really didn’t know what to expect. Nothing could have prepared me for the experience, and while I will do my best to relay the feeling, I doubt if I should be able to do it justice.

This is the impending weather I saw first!

Didn't expect this when I was visiting the Shouf Cedar Reserve for the 1st time.

The Barouq Cedar reserve was majestic. Blotches of snow here and there, Cedar trees standing proud, and a serenity available only in the woods. At one occasion, we reached a few trees that have been struck by lighting. Here are a few photos of that section.

Just a glimpse of the Cedar Forest

The Trail inside the Shouf Cedar Reserve

Cedar Tree Struck by Lightning

A very important part of this section is a spot where if you look to the left, you can see the Shouf valley and if you look to the right, you can see the Bekaa valley.

The Barouq Valley - Shouf - View from the Left

The Bekaa Valley - View from the right

With Section 18 of the LMT over, we headed to our respective guest house, picked our beds, took a shower and prepared for dinner. As opposed to the previous night, this time around the full group had dinner together. It was a medium sized hall, that fit all 20 of us for dinner, kept warm by a fire place at the end. The food was very good, and especially the fig jam, which was glorious. Another night of laughs and conversations, and off we went to bed to get ready for the next day. Weather report: Windy – Sunny. The weather report was wrong.

Up early the next morning, and here’s the view of guest house where we had dinner.

We were given the heads up that today’s section (LMT Section 17) had a tough uphill from Ain Dara towards Dahr el baydar. Everyone talked about it so much, I worried I wouldn’t be able to complete the trail. But somehow I found the energy to pull through. Anyway, off we went into the clouds that hung low over the mountain. We were walking into the mist, and that was such an amazing experience, I can’t find the words to explain. Instead, I hope these videos would give you a taste of what we went through.

With no wide landscapes to enjoy, the close scenery had to do, and there were a lot of things to enjoy.

At one point, we reached a “pool” where we had challenged a couple of guys to jump into… except with no sun, and some strong cold winds, it was a bit ridiculous, so after a short respite, we set off again towards Dahr El baydar; which, for those of you who don’t know, is on the highway towards the bekaa… it is one of the highest points on your drive there.

This is the 'challenge' pool... see the fog?

The fog was thick and the rain was pouring… (a point to note here is that I was wearing shorts, and was ecstatic to find a shelter where I got to switch to wearing pants), and we had to cross the highway, (it’s 10 meters wide), so after grouping ourselves, we headed towards the biggest surprise for me on this trip. The French Hospital. Now if you’re anything like me, you imagine a hospital, however old or small, but a hospital building nonetheless. As it turns out, it wasn’t. Unfortunately, though, and due to weather conditions, I couldn’t shoot the entrance or the inside. My camera had died the day before, and I was using my iPhone’s cam to record the rest of the trip. So what was this hospital? It was a hole in the ground, just like in the old westerns, it’s entrance looked like that of gold mines… that’s it… we had to go in there for our lunch break, and once inside, I was told what it was. A bunker built in World War I… no light inside, we had to use headlamps and flashlights. I am thankful for those who came prepared for it… for I wasn’t. Inside the bunker we found a square room where we all gathered up to eat.

Now, because it had started raining since that pool I showed you, and the winds picked up even more speed, we had to alter our course from the French Hospital. So instead of heading forward towards Falougha, our final destination; we instead headed in another shorter way towards another town, and had the bus meet us there. We still made it to Falougha, because the municipality there had prepared a welcome for us hikers. It was great, and I really wish more municipalities would take the time to show appreciation, not to hikers, but to the LMT and the LMTA, who are taking care of our forests in any way they can. I really hope they get all the support they need, and I for one, am sure to anything I can. This is Falougha off the bus, see the old fire truck?

If you want to help out, give them a call, and see what you can do, it could be as simple as joining them on a 1-day hike, or better yet, how about you spread the word, and share the info about the LMT with your friends… whether you share this post or not is nowhere near as important, as sharing the LMT website…

So go ahead, and share the LMT website link… Share this post with your friends, and Share your thoughts in the comments below…

Hope you had fun, I sure had….

Though this phenomenon is more widespread in certain areas than in others, it was a breath of fresh air to stumble upon Richard Dawkins’ OUT campaign. A call to all atheists to come out, and not be ashamed of who you are. What I love about it is that it does not try to actively out atheists… but rather hopes to build a community of like minded individuals, to support each other. A community that could become a family… a family that we like to call the human race.

The following scarlet A has been designed for the Out Campaign, seeking support from people who would like to follow their cause. While I understand it to be a bit drastic to start showing the letter as an “in your face” type of behavior, I also like the peaceful nature of this movement. So here goes, I am adding it here… and all I request is that you accept my rights as I accept yours.

I read once “the worst time for an atheist, is when they are really thankful, but have no one to thank”… except I always do have: My parents, family, friends, associates… or coincidence… serendipity…

Good luck!

We all know the stories, don’t we?

The damsel in distress, whatever this distress may be, who is longing for a prince charming to come and rescue her. The prince, ever so charming and dashing, with a heart full of courage and nobility, starts off on a quest to seek, find and rescue his princess.

After a lot of hardship, they find each other, overcome a final obstacle, and then… well… they live happily ever after.

We love those stories. They fill us with hope, teach us nobility, romance… maybe even courage. They also teach us that to find the right person, you need to go through hardship… a lot of it. I can’t stress enough how much hardship you need to overcome first. Witches, Wizards, Dragons, Spells… you name it, someone thought about it, wrote it and our parents read it to us.

Now, in the real world, the one we live in at least, witches are bitches. These annoying women with whom you made the fatal mistake of dating. Wizards are jealous ex-boyfriends or clingy ones. Dragons could be thought to be parents or friends or these irrelevant people who somehow have the power to interfere, although they technically shouldn’t be a problem.

Finally, spells are the endless psychological problems that lie within the one you somehow think is the right person for you. By endless I mean: limitless, infinite, inexhaustible, boundless, immeasurable…. just look them up in a thesaurus.

Let’s take a moment, and try, however hopeless that might be, to recap relationships within a small story. The premise is, of course, that of the stories defined above.

There is a man, who as required by society, needs to find a woman. So he sets out on a quest to find his princess, the one he has dreamed of all of his life. Therefore, he goes out, clubbing, and meets endless princesses of shaky backgrounds. Some of course are amazing; just not for him. Everyone has something beautiful in her, but… in come the obstacles.

This is the time, when your worth is put to the test and you better deliver. Don’t ask for help… you are supposed to overcome these tests on your own. Well maybe with the help of your trusted steed, but that’s as far as they will allow you. Deal with it!!

So you play the game of dating and what not… she plays hard to get… after all she is in the dungeon of the highest tower… and you will appear to actually want to try and rescue her… somehow, this whole process has survived…

Cut to the actual rescue, you carry her out to safety, and voila. The celebration follows, and everyone is happy, chanting and wishing you the best… you set off into the sunset in a carriage that says… Just Married… and suddenly, the unseen narrator says: “and they lived happily ever after”.

Have you noticed that no one ever tells the story, after they hook up? it’s always the before… always the problems, and to convince you that this is worthwhile, they say “and they lived happily ever after”. Seriously? one line? just one line to talk about happiness?  A whole book dealing with the pain and suffering you go through for a prize at the end, and what do you tell me about the prize? just one friggin line, and no more.

Experience however, has taught us otherwise. We have figured out the answer. In real life, this happily ever after… is a myth. The problems do not cease, neither do the obstacles. In fact, every day becomes a short version of the whole story. With nighttime being the prize, for as long as she doesn’t have a headache.

A point to note here, is that the Prince as well, has shortcomings… or actually is a shortcoming. He is not as charming as you would hope, not as noble or possibly has none of the characteristics of your fairytale savior. Some are wizards that you mistook for a prince. Yet, we somehow convince ourselves that in real life, things are just a little different. They are VERY different.

There is no happily ever after… that was soooo once upon a time; and I am not so sure of that either. It is a myth we are told, brainwashed with, in order to reproduce and ensure the survival of the species. A species that should not have survived at all. Well maybe just some of us.

What they don’t tell you in those fairytales is how much trouble, in preparation of the wedding, you go through. Planning, financing, children, parents, friends…. it’s a hassle. If you have gotten married, you know what I am talking about… if you haven’t… well… trust me… it’s hell. What kind of flowers, music and food are you gonna have? Where will you do it? More important, who will you invite? What is the budget you will allocate to the marriage?

Do they tell you that it will cost you an arm and a leg to get married? Nope!

Do they tell you that you will spend sleepless nights worrying about the day? Nope!

Do they tell you anything about the socializing you need to do after? Nope!

They tell absolutely nothing about the truth. Nothing at all. Just the sweet, romantic parts, that will get you excited and wanting it. Needing it… maybe even working you up to an addiction to it. To the point where you will define yourself by the relationship.

Why?

Simple… they want you to go through the same pain they have.

Now, there are those who actually got married to their princess, who might be living happily… those for whom marriage was a step up… but these are the lucky few… rare people who found in their princess their best friend… but everybody else… well….

Think about it… has anyone ever wished you to get married, with a genuine smile of happiness? they always send you their wishes, with that strange look in their eyes, that says: “I hope you get nailed too…”

Somehow, they want you to share in their misery… sometimes, I can see through their eyes, that they believe this to be a mistake… Almost every man tells you that you will fall victim to this… almost every woman justifies it by saying how amazing it will be to have children… but it feels off… something that just does not process the right way.

Compare these wishes, to someone who just had sex for the first time… odds are, if they are to talk to you about it, you can feel this genuine excitement emanating from their core… and if you still haven’t done it… well now you want to… and bad… try to recall the first time someone told you about it… before you did… and contrast this with the way people wish you try getting married.

I believe it is about time for me to take a moment and remind you (or tell you if you don’t know) that I am not against marriage. I am, by no means, promoting the single life, or calling out against fairytales. I am simply appalled by the fact that humanity has distorted these stories, and misused them to the point, where marriage is no longer what it used to be. Relationships are no longer spontaneous, romantic and appealing. They are now a process that seems to be required by society, and for some reason, we all comply without a moment’s thought.

Commitment is a state of mind, not a piece of paper or a ring on your finger.

Commitment can only be achieved, when you are comfortable enough with who you are, and where you are in life.

Do not stand at either extreme, of saying you must get married, or say don’t get married…

Marriage should be the logical next step in a relationship…

Step 1: Dating (includes sex, drinks and fun)

Step 2: Serious Relationship (boyfriend, girlfriend, meet the parents type, includes sex)

Step 3: Engagement (not necessary, but helpful depending on your society, and sex)

Step 4: Marriage (it’s time to get a family together… through sex)

You can notice that I have not added any time or schedule to the above steps, but rather defined them according to their essence, to what you will be doing, or where your state of mind may be.

Step 3 is purely optional, and typically, follows the same reasoning as step 4…

The 4 steps are what the fairytales used to be about…

Step 1: Becoming infatuated with the princess.

Step 2: Setting off on the quest to rescue her.

Step 3: Fighting the final enemy guarding the dungeon.

Step 4: Victory, and the happily ever after…

Fairytales have been demoted to nothing more than daydreams. We lost this sense of wonder and anticipation while listening to these stories. We watch them with a sense of longing, a smile drawn on our faces that says: “how I wish this were true”.

I can’t help but wonder why. Why is it that fairytales have now become so fleetingly available to us? Why can’t we seem to find our princesses and princes? Why are people so obsessed with the thought of marriage? of having children?

More than anyone else, I love a good story.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess, who lived a charming life. But one day, her parents did something, and she got locked away in a dungeon. Every day she stared longingly out the window, hoping that a knight in shining armor will come to her rescue. Save her from this prison that has become her life.

Her story reached far and wide, to a town, far away, where lived prince charming. His name was Marc. He had all the qualities of prince charming: Noble, Brave, a Gentleman. He felt compelled to go to her rescue.

But then he figured… what the hell… I’ll just have another drink and go home.

And he lived happily ever after.

Marc Khoury

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I tried to make sense of it all, and while it made perfect sense (for it was as it should have been), I could only wonder how this has never been done before. Not like this. Not in this way.

The previous lines, I hope, explain exactly how I felt after watching a dear friend and her group of wonderful dancers perform a little “experiment” called “I Matter”. But first, a little secret:

For as much as I love the arts, I never really felt anything towards the abstract forms; rather, I steered clear unless, much like this past Saturday, it was in support of a friend. (thank you for insisting)

So here I go to walk you through what is in fact, not a performance, nor a dance, nor an abstraction of a performance-dance. It is, quite simply, an experience. Of which kind? Stick around.

We were being led from one room to the next by the dancers. But first, as Nadra spoke the words that would indeed change your perspective on life, on what you think of others… on what you think of yourself… she starts shifting people around… be it dancers or innocent audience members.

The dancing, well that was happening right in between us. We stood there, afraid to move, afraid to block the passage for those who were flying amongst us. What moved me most though, were the expressions held on their faces. They smiled, then stared, they felt loss, pain, sadness. They smiled again.

They challenged each and every one of us to look straight into their very souls and see. They wanted to see just how we, just how I, affected this very moment. They bumped into one another, they bumped into us, they shook us right out of our reality into a world, where words stop making sense. For once in my life, I did not try to make sense of abstraction, but abstraction tried to make sense out of me.

They screamed, they were silent. They moved, they stood still. They were the most beautiful contradiction, I ever had the pleasure to witness.

They moved us again, to the initial room. On the platform, were 2 of the dancers. Wrapped in duct tape. The lights were dim. They wiggled, they moved about, they tried to break free from their self-imposed shackles. What were the shackles though? I am sure your understanding would have been different from mine. They finish and we are, again, led to the other room.

Some are placed dead center, some around. The dancers form a tight group in the middle of the room… but as you prepare for their motion, there she comes, flying into them… no hesitation… no anticipation… zooming past you and flying into the faces of the troupe. They collapse on the floor.

But now, it is time for the audience to participate. Now, as one by one the dancers awake, Nadra picks some of us to mimic one specific dancer. Everyone complies, however hesitantly.

It’s almost over… were are now led atop the platform, and the dancers are dancing with us… we’re smiling…. we feel good about ourselves… we like this… but then a scream and in a split second all the dancers are off the platform, and much like someone who has been stripped of their clothes in the blink of an eye… we stood on up there… shocked… but then, the dancers… they started clapping… for us…

it was… well… it was the necessary orgasm at the end of love making. Without it, it’s pointless. In fact, it was the whole reason of why we had to go through the dance… We couldn’t just be placed on the platform and then have them clap now could we?

I didn’t clap… not fast… not at first… because I flashed back…. I re-witnessed every second of this…. experience… and I saw it… I understood:

First, was the flirting. Then came the soft kisses and warm embrace. After that, foreplay, followed by passionate love making, leading all the way up to the final orgasm. It was beautiful. It all made sense.

To Nadra Assaf and Al-Sarab Dance Troupe,

Thank you for reminding me of just how important I am. Thank you for sharing your most intimate selves with me. Thank you for the smiles, and the shocks. Thank you for being you.

I came in a friend, but I left a lover.

The magnificence of the performance, was perfect. Not almost… but perfect…. The difference for me was in the form of the wonderful dancer who wore the glasses.

Thank you all…. for it was, truly, orgasmic.

Marc Khoury

Is it their food? the way they know how to cook things just right? or maybe it is the way they smile when they see you… it’s different, more genuine… but is that it? what about the knowledge that they will love you no matter what? no matter what you say, or do… they can’t seem to be capable of Not loving you… I can’t figure it out. Not for lack of trying though…

I think back at my life, and focus on just one person… my mother. She has her uniqueness, her own little quirks that make her who she is, as a person, a friend, a mother. What are they? well, only the blessed few know… but that is not what I wanted to share with you.

Lately, many of my friends have become mothers themselves… at first I knew one or two, but now the number has grown. And while this may be a constant reminder of time passing by, it is also one of the most interesting and beautiful images I have seen.

A mother looks at you with care in her eyes, just behind that little bit of judgement… they can’t help it.

A mother annoys you just enough to remind you she knows better… and as frustrating as it may be, they usually do know better.

A mother hugs you just the right way… even when you don’t want to be hugged.

A mother knows what you want, what you need, even before you know it yourself.

I can go on forever… everyone knows what a mother does, we all have our own little stories… but I have been searching hard and long to find one word… just one word that would express truly what a mother is… something that can be universal… or not.

I write to you on this occasion, because I believe I have found that word… it was surprising really, but looking at all the mothers I know… starting with my own, and then at all my dear friends… I know what it is…

Regardless of all the negative stuff about ‘women’ that we, men, can say… when we look at our mothers, at the mothers of our children… there is one thing only that goes through our minds.

A mother… is Perfect.

She’s perfect to you.

She’s perfect for you.

She’s perfect with you.

And so I started thinking about myself, and what I have done… for her, for me… hoping that I make her proud… for there is nothing else a mother actually asks of you, is there?

Now I don’t know about me, and I don’t know about you, but here’s a little thought I wanted to share with you:

May your mothers be proud of you, happy to see you smile, laugh, succeed and live life the way you want to live it.

May you see them smile for eternity…

May you never lose the sensation of their sweet embrace…

To all the mothers I know,

To all the mothers of those I know,

To all the mothers to be,

To my own mother,

Happy Mother’s Day… though a day is never enough to celebrate your existence.

Marc Khoury

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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply. Suggestions as to topics or comments are all welcome and advised. All the Thoughtful Emails will be archived in the Blog under the Thoughtful Emails category.

From then on, life changes permanently. We (males) can’t stop thinking about women, we like them, we want to play with them, and simply put we want them around us. Again, this applies to most people. Thus does the miracle of relationships begin. I say miracle, for there truly is nothing stranger and more confusing than wanting to be with one another.

It is said, and adopted by many as pure fact, that “women are from venus and men are from mars”. I have never fully understood why, but… to a certain extent it is true. We are very different. Differences exist between each and every individual, but even more so, between men and women. Nonetheless, we want to be in a relationship with one another. We long for it, we seem to desperately need it, to the extent of it becoming somewhat of an obsession. Why?

It is also seen as strange, and sometimes wrong, to not be in a relationship, or not want one. You should have it. You can not possibly consider being single and alone. Which is basically why many relationships fail. And yet, we remain hopeful, forever searching for our “soul mates”. For there can be only one. Or so we are made to believe. This is made easier to accept when you look at the many successful relationships. So many people are actually happy. They must be doing something right!!!

So what am i saying? what am i trying to achieve from the aforementioned blabber? Just a small point of view:

Relationships are the driving force behind the success of all those we admire most in our lives. Relationships are the energy of our lives. And we should not get into them. We should avoid them like the plague. Unless…. unless it just happens. think about that for a second, please take a moment. “Unless it just happens”. Did you think about it? good! If you let things happen, whichever relationship you get into, will drive you to your success and uttermost achievement. If you let it happen, it will give you wings (try not to think redbull). If you let it happen, it will surely be the greatest event of your life.

Too many times we try too hard, we push for things even when it is painfully obvious, just how wrong and bad the outcome will be. Like a doe caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, this will be the person we want to be with, and we are the deer prancing towards her… the TRUCK IS COMING… Regardless of the loud horn, we seem helpless to stop moving…. When the truck hits, it will be the visual representation of a relationship failing. We change our very being for the sake of a relationship… which in itself destroys our very essence and with it, all chances of success.

But what do i know? I am just a guy still searching for my soul mate… i just hope the road is clear.

Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended.  Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply. Suggestions as to topics or comments are all welcome and advised.

the book is a 10 minute read (considering many people’s average reading speed), it contains many photos for those of you who are verbose intolerant, and enough words to satisfy those of you who consider themselves thirsty for knowledge. DO NOT LET THAT FOOL YOU. just because it is a 10-min thing, does not mean it lacks the depth and insight you would expect from such books. it actually has more power than most other books i have read in a long time.

in short the book, written by a master of the creative industry, provides the quick lessons it would take us years to learn; it does so, with wit and easy flowing examples. almost nothing is without real life examples and that makes it all the more interesting to read.

Who is this book for? Everyone. Anyone. All those interested in taking charge in their lives and achieving their own version of success are best served through the reading of this book. You’ll want to read it over and over again, and since it is a fast read, that would not be a problem to anyone.

If you ever do read it, drop me a line and tell me which is your favorite thought of them. Mine was the one about decisions. here’s the amazon link: