Cheers.

The whole concept of “choice” that you bring up is very liberating in a sense. After the initial 18 months or so of romance, reality sets in and the couple probably make less of an effort to keep the relationship an adventure. So you fall into routine, which is a toxin for monogamy. This is why choice is a very powerful concept in that every single day and night we *should* make the choice to not just remain in a monogamous relationship but also to work on this monogamous relationship, every day and every night.

And only experience and hindsight are capable of teaching you that monogamy, in order for it to be successful, is not just the choice to remain with the same person, and fight it out and keep at it and sometimes put the relationship above your ego, but it is also the choice to keep it burning just like it was in the beginning. One of the reasons why people leave relationship is mainly due to routine, lack of passion, lack of excitement, the excitement of being with some one new and of discovering every piece of them.

I do not necessarily believe in one soul mate or even in that concept of “one love”. I think it would be utterly restricting and unrealistic and also offers no window for hope. I believe that we can fall in love quite a few times and it could be a typhoon kind of love – the kind where you would do the craziest of things. Nothing that I haven’t done. Believe me, I have loved… I think there is a reason why a specific love wins over another love and why a specific relationship persists and another doesn’t. It is a very complex set of criteria and variables (timing, readiness, maturity, compatibility, pride and vanity, chemistry and most importantly, experience) that can come together and influence our choices and the eventual outcome of the relationship.

Good for you for never losing the hope no matter how broken you come out of a previous “amour”.