Thoughtful Email #15 – What’s A Mother?
What is it about mothers that makes them so special?
Is it their food? the way they know how to cook things just right? or maybe it is the way they smile when they see you... it’s different, more genuine... but is that it? what about the knowledge that they will love you no matter what? no matter what you say, or do... they can’t seem to be capable of Not loving you... I can’t figure it out. Not for lack of trying though...
I think back at my life, and focus on just one person... my mother. She has her uniqueness, her own little quirks that make her who she is, as a person, a friend, a mother. What are they? well, only the blessed few know... but that is not what I wanted to share with you.
Lately, many of my friends have become mothers themselves... at first I knew one or two, but now the number has grown. And while this may be a constant reminder of time passing by, it is also one of the most interesting and beautiful images I have seen.
A mother looks at you with care in her eyes, just behind that little bit of judgement... they can’t help it.
A mother annoys you just enough to remind you she knows better... and as frustrating as it may be, they usually do know better.
A mother hugs you just the right way... even when you don’t want to be hugged.
A mother knows what you want, what you need, even before you know it yourself.
I can go on forever... everyone knows what a mother does, we all have our own little stories... but I have been searching hard and long to find one word... just one word that would express truly what a mother is... something that can be universal... or not.
I write to you on this occasion, because I believe I have found that word... it was surprising really, but looking at all the mothers I know... starting with my own, and then at all my dear friends... I know what it is...
Regardless of all the negative stuff about ‘women’ that we, men, can say... when we look at our mothers, at the mothers of our children... there is one thing only that goes through our minds.
A mother... is Perfect.
She’s perfect to you.
She’s perfect for you.
She’s perfect with you.
And so I started thinking about myself, and what I have done... for her, for me... hoping that I make her proud... for there is nothing else a mother actually asks of you, is there?
Now I don’t know about me, and I don’t know about you, but here’s a little thought I wanted to share with you:
May your mothers be proud of you, happy to see you smile, laugh, succeed and live life the way you want to live it.
May you see them smile for eternity...
May you never lose the sensation of their sweet embrace...
To all the mothers I know,
To all the mothers of those I know,
To all the mothers to be,
To my own mother,
Happy Mother’s Day... though a day is never enough to celebrate your existence.
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply. Suggestions as to topics or comments are all welcome and advised. All the Thoughtful Emails will be archived in the Blog under the Thoughtful Emails category.
Thoughtful Email #14 – Relationships
Early on in our lives, boys have something of a dislike to girls, we don’t like them, we don’t want to play with them, and simply put we don’t want them around us. However, at one point in our lives, around those teen years, we discover what i will refer to as “genital motion”. in other words, erections. Yes, it is that time when we look with wonder at our genitals as they suddenly stand proudly from between our legs, offering up a strange feeling. Eventually, we understand this is caused by looking at young women. Now some, might keep a certain dislike for women, while others quickly embrace the phenomenon and start looking forward to spending more and more time with girls. That is called, sexual curiosity.
From then on, life changes permanently. We (males) can’t stop thinking about women, we like them, we want to play with them, and simply put we want them around us. Again, this applies to most people. Thus does the miracle of relationships begin. I say miracle, for there truly is nothing stranger and more confusing than wanting to be with one another.
It is said, and adopted by many as pure fact, that “women are from venus and men are from mars”. I have never fully understood why, but... to a certain extent it is true. We are very different. Differences exist between each and every individual, but even more so, between men and women. Nonetheless, we want to be in a relationship with one another. We long for it, we seem to desperately need it, to the extent of it becoming somewhat of an obsession. Why?
It is also seen as strange, and sometimes wrong, to not be in a relationship, or not want one. You should have it. You can not possibly consider being single and alone. Which is basically why many relationships fail. And yet, we remain hopeful, forever searching for our “soul mates”. For there can be only one. Or so we are made to believe. This is made easier to accept when you look at the many successful relationships. So many people are actually happy. They must be doing something right!!!
So what am i saying? what am i trying to achieve from the aforementioned blabber? Just a small point of view:
Relationships are the driving force behind the success of all those we admire most in our lives. Relationships are the energy of our lives. And we should not get into them. We should avoid them like the plague. Unless.... unless it just happens. think about that for a second, please take a moment. “Unless it just happens”. Did you think about it? good! If you let things happen, whichever relationship you get into, will drive you to your success and uttermost achievement. If you let it happen, it will give you wings (try not to think redbull). If you let it happen, it will surely be the greatest event of your life.
Too many times we try too hard, we push for things even when it is painfully obvious, just how wrong and bad the outcome will be. Like a doe caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, this will be the person we want to be with, and we are the deer prancing towards her... the TRUCK IS COMING... Regardless of the loud horn, we seem helpless to stop moving.... When the truck hits, it will be the visual representation of a relationship failing. We change our very being for the sake of a relationship... which in itself destroys our very essence and with it, all chances of success.
But what do i know? I am just a guy still searching for my soul mate... i just hope the road is clear.
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply. Suggestions as to topics or comments are all welcome and advised.
Thoughtful Email #13 – Tonight I slept
We are who we are and driven by passion we sometimes be
Though fear might creep in, and in darkness drown us
We remain for the most part in our dreams so very free
i am thankful for the dreams i have had so far
but none so much as the one i had last night
as soon as into deep slumber i slipped i found myself in a car
driving fast with no sound at all, the wind blowing in my hair
i screamed of happiness but no voice came out.
But suddenly i stopped, and stood outside as the world spun out of control,
i turn around and there she was the woman of my dreams.
i wish i could say i dreamt of her all my life, but truth be told, it was my first time.
all turns black but i and her, as walk towards each other we did.
the first sound came, faded in, the soft beating of my heart urging me towards her.
I walked and so did she, for an endless time without ever reaching each other.
i spoke a thousand words but none were heard, and still i stumbled.
her face, her hair, her eyes, her body... it all moved towards a center that seemed located in me
i trembled, i breathed, i stopped, as suddenly upon me she was.
Her whispering voice, so sweet and soft, flew into the void,
my eager ears reaching out to feel that smooth embrace.
the words did reach, and my mind did fear,
for now, i know who she be, and why she’s here.
“fear not my love, it is not time, for you or me, to be wed in bliss,
but time will come, when you and me shall forever share this bed,
floating in darkness or sinking in light, hand in hand towards the end,
the eternal kiss you shall receive, but tonight, i simply check upon thee”
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply. Suggestions as to topics or comments are all welcome and advised.
Thoughtful Email #12 – A Wish For You
Standing on top of a hill, existence spreading all around me, I smile!
As life flirts with my senses, a powerful energy rushing through my veins, I laugh!
Witnessing everything in its glory, a magnificent dance of thoughts exploding, I love!
Releasing myself, losing control and floating around in peace, I live!
I open my eyes and see the eternal waltz of Shadow and Light as they joyfully color the world,
I open my ears and hear the world’s heartbeat, as life celebrates all around me,
I take a deep breath, inhaling the magical essence of the world, unseen, unheard, unfelt!
I close my eyes, touch the ground and am overwhelmed by the vibrations of humanity.
As I am intoxicated by this mystical explosion of the world’s spirit, I miss you my friend!
I think about the times we spent together, and how many happy moments we had,
I remember all of the emotions we have been through together, and I smile.
I smile, for though I might have seen you but a few moments ago, I miss you already!
I miss you already, for this sensory orgasm is but an empty experience, until I share it with you!
To wake up every day with a smile,
To smile through the pains of life,
To live, fully, happily, satisfyingly,
To never be alone!
That is what I wish for you!
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended, and i would like to take this moment to apologize for any. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list (if you were forwarded the mail) then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply.
Thoughtful Email #11 – A Vagabond Wish
Happiness - that ever elusive prize. We spend a lifetime trying to attain it, yet somehow never really getting it. Never realizing that all this time, what we are looking for lies calmly and safely within.
I sought it out, with all my might, in everything and everyone, and could not see it, could not find it anywhere. It was frustrating, to say the least, and yet for some reason, I kept looking, kept on searching.
At some point, I did give in. I let go of what I considered a hopeless goal, after all, society told me so, told me to let go of my foolish dreams and follow the sound of reason, their reason. And I did.
A mere content ensued, and I thought it was the closest I would get to being happy, that maybe, just maybe following the road that so many have taken before me, would lead me to a happiness. They could not be all wrong. Can they? But something happened, somewhere deep within, I felt a crack. Something broke I feared, and automatically, I searched deep within to find it and mend it.
What I found surprised and terrified me.
I found myself, looking back at me, with a fiery glare. Anger in my own inner eyes was glowing brighter than the sun at its peak, and slowly I walked towards myself. I was mesmerized, and could not look away. The harder I tried the harder it became. I soon was standing right in front of myself, and felt a heat, a fire reaching out to grab me.
The terror grew to panic, and I was frozen in place. The flame took hold of me, grabbed my throat, stifling any attempt to cry out for help, and my blazing self spoke softly into my flabbergasted, wide open eyes.
“I sat here in the dark, waiting a lifetime for you to call me out, and all you did was keep me in the shadows. I have waited patiently for you, but no more. You will heed my call. You will do my bidding, and you have no option, no choice.”
The flaming grip relaxed enough for me take a deep, warm breath, and I knew from the look on my face, that I was expected to answer. It is thus that the words came out of my mouth, fleeting words that I seemed unable to control. In disbelief at what I was saying I replied:
“Speak, and I shall listen.”
A smile on my fervent self did not comfort me, until I spoke:
“You will follow your heart, your passion. You will make your message known to the world, and will do so regardless of the fear. Come what may, you will always be happy.
Happiness is not a journey nor is it an end. Happiness is simply a state of mind. A state of mind that you shall not replace for anything, under any circumstance. You will go forth, and achieve that which is your innermost self. I will be brought out.”
My throat was now released completely, and I was expected to yet again speak my mind:
“I know I have a passion for the arts, but what am I to do? What about money? What about making a living for myself in order to be able to sometime, down along the way, have a family?”
The fire in my other eyes grew ablaze, the grip back on my throat, and with anger my other self said:
“It is not about finding a job that provides you with money, but finding a way to make money from your passion. The ideas are there, dormant in your mind, some you already have thought about, and you will execute them.
The journey will be tough, and you will be criticized by many out there who believe such a vagabond life to be insane and wrong. You will disregard them. You will dismiss such negative thoughts and move on. Past the pain, past the tiredness, past the doubt.”
Back out of my mind, my heart beating fast, I finally found the truth. I had to seek it deep within myself, but I found it. My way of being happy. The life that I always dreamed of.
What you want is deep within you, waiting patiently. I was lucky to have it get angry enough to call me in, grab and shake me awake from this slumber. Do not wait for that luck. Dig deep into yourself, and call yourself out, face yourself, and have a long, honest discussion. It will be terrifying, believe me… but most worth it.
You see, I have decided to live the vagabond life. To chase my dream, and be happy enjoying the journey I am about to embark on. It scares me at times, but I quickly dismiss these thoughts, replacing them with hope. The hope, that tomorrow will be just as sweet as today is.
My vagabond wish to all of you chasing your dream:
May you be as happy as a child chasing a kite along the green grass of the prairies.
May you laugh with excitement with every new day.
May you sleep like a baby with not a worry on your mind.
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended, and i would like to take this moment to apologize for any. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list (if you were forwarded the mail) then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply.
Thoughtful Email #10 – Wheelchair Discussions
The following is a true story based upon actual fictional events.
There I was, sitting, enjoying a sip of coffee, when an elderly man passes by. He was on a wheelchair being driven by his wife. Having a sad look on his face, I figured I could smile and help him smile. Instead, the man reacts and launches an offensive saying:
“What are you smiling at? What do you care? At least you still got use of your legs!”
At which I initiated the conversation with the man on a wheelchair, “I may have legs, and the use of them... But i can not use them.”
His bewildered look was the sign that i needed to invite him and his wife to join me for a cup of coffee. He was pleasantly intrigued with my reply, or at least, so his smile suggested as well as the fact that they accepted my invitation.
“Well? Care to elaborate?” asked the man on the wheelchair.
“Ah yes!”, I replied, “well like I said, I may have my legs but I can not use them. The only walking space available is the mall or the gym. Sometimes, outside the weather is acceptable, yet walking for other than exercise, the walking that you so terribly miss, which is defined as ‘The use of one legs to get to you destination’ is simply non existent. I can not do that, for there are no more destinations, or rather no more walkable destinations. Therefore, I too have lost the use of my legs”.
I had caught his attention, his smile broadens, his eyes jump around, and I could almost hear his brain ticking as he thought up his next question.
“Well maybe so, however,” he asked, “this optimism of yours, this... positivity of yours, can not be kept when you are unable to clean yourself without help. I can not go anywhere without being taken. u have to be carried and placed on the toilet! I feel ashamed and I feel like a burden. You can take care of yourself whereas I can not. So why should I smile?”
I was expecting his wife to interject, to tell him he was not a burden, to tell him there were many reasons to smile. Instead she just sat there silent, enjoying her husbands new found smile.
“You are lucky then!” I said, “Luckier than me and most people.
He gave me a strange look! Somewhere between a smile, a perplexed smile that is, and angered confusion. It would have made a nice portrait shot. And I continued:
”You are loved. You know the warmth of having a loved one touch you and care for you! You have lost the use of your legs and have gained or rather maintained the presence of a loved one. To hold you, to carry you and be there with you. And while I have maintained the use of my legs, I find myself longing for the touch of another. A woman who loves me just as much as I love her. My walking feels like away from those I care about, whereas you have them walking towards you. Do not talk to me about pride when you are not being looked down upon. Do not talk to me about guilt when you are showered with votive caring and attention.“
I was overcome with energy and hope. I saw myself victorious and was about to raise my hands in victory, when he stuns me with a serious look and nostalgic smile saying:
”My dear friend, but that is not all that I have lost. One day you will find that someone to shower you with care and attention. Someday you find a destination to walk to. And you will have a choice. I, however, do not... I have lost the power to choose.“
For a moment I sat in silence, contemplating what the man on a wheelchair just said. I was fighting the urge to accept what he said since it made so much sense, when suddenly the cutest little girl runs towards us, gives the lady a kiss and jumps on the wheelchair, gives the man a kiss and says:
”Hello grandpa, you ready to go?“
The incredible smile on his face reminded me of a quote, and it was that quote that got me back my victory.
”On a final note sire, your grand daughter’s arrival reminded me of Charles R. Swindoll who said ‘Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it’. You did not lose the power to choose sir. You can still decide to enjoy and be happy about all that you’ve got left and gained.“
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended, and i would like to take this moment to apologize for any. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list (if you were forwarded the mail) then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply.
Thoughtful Email #9 – Dancing Emotions
Dancing emotions fly upon the wall in colorful display... An expression of life and all it has to offer.... of beauty, of chaos, of smiles and cries, of comfort and pain....
Every morning as i wake, is that eternal dance, and I lay there... not yet awake, no longer asleep.... wondering!
About the stars, about the sun, about nothing and everything.... drifting in a land of childish wonder....
But then I wake... and with it a world of unending beauty seems to drift away.. fade away... into reality!
Yet somehow, during the day, the colors are brought back... they start filling everything that i see....
The baker is now suddenly throwing play-dough of all colors to make a rainbow selection of breads....
The shoe seller, becomes a mime, a clown rather, with that eternal smile drawn on his face....
That woman going to her job, over there, on the other side of the street.... transforms into a butterfly and flutters away...
The world gains it’s colors, the emotions that were intertwined in a tango on my wall, are now celebrating in a carnival all around me!
Lamp posts now are the guardians of the street, standing watch over busy streets....
Police officers have attached capes, and are regarded as the super heroes of Earth...
And the sun casts a different color depending on its moods.... for you see even the sun can have them!
With every child’s step i can hear a piano stroke, i smile as i hear a sonata play right before me!! and they giggle... oh for that sound to never perish...
An honesty of happiness that we seem to forget or abandon as we become what is called adults....
Oh for the time when life does indeed take on these colors...
The time when a child’s laughter fills your heart...
Oh how I long for the peace... that sweet peace you can only find in a lover’s embrace....
How I long for the shared dreams... for the mental vacation where you travel to places unseen by any other!
And as the day ends.... I drift again... and Lo! there do i see them... these dancing emotions, flying upon the wall.... expressing life and all it has to offer...
Of Love, of hate, of calm, of clarity, of screams and laughter.... of beauty, of chaos, of smiles and cries, of comfort and of pain...
Good night... and may your dreams be just as sweet!
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended, and i would like to take this moment to apologize for any. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list (if you were forwarded the mail) then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply.
Thoughtful Email #8 – Fall on My Face
As I sat discussing and talking away about love and life and all it has to offer, I found myself uttering the following:
Even if I fall flat on my face, it will only hurt if I fall physically on my face...
And so i spent the night thinking and wondering, about that leap we call love, that leap that we call risk or life or whatever it may be that is such an achievement to you... Thinking that the beauty of life is just how intertwined it is with Serendipity... Chance, that beautiful thing that leaves all things obscure, unknown... generating an exciting tingle in us all...
A lesson learned a wee bit late, but a lesson learned nonetheless, is to jump, leap into the unknown, and fear not the fall, fear not the smashing into the concrete floor, since all it takes is a little crying, a little emotional pain, which will be followed by a freedom like no other. So i tell you all to jump, leap blindly knowing that come what may, you will be able to stand and brush off the dirt, stand and walk away, with a bruise that will help you grow into the person that you have always dreamed of being.
I wish you all to find the love that I have found! The love of yourself, the love of who you have become today, someone you see in the mirror and smile... someone comfortable enough to be themselves....
You are God’s greatest creation, and no other will be as great to you as yourself... Love thyself, cherish thyself and make sure that you are all that matters in your life!
Smile for life is great!
Smile for you are great!
Smile for everything around you is great!
Smile because you can!
Love because you can!
Live because it is the only way you can Smile and Love....
Leap from where you are, high upon the rock of normality, and hope that you will dive into a pool of love! and should you not, then look forward to the time you will leap again and hope again, that your happiness will be reciprocated and save you from falling flat on your face!
Here’s to Love, to Happiness, to Life and all it has to offer... may they never end!
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended, and i would like to take this moment to apologize for any. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list (if you were forwarded the mail) then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply.
Thoughtful Email #7 – Away
Oh for a home far away from the strain of life
A house to call my own within the walls of my heart
Try as I may it finds me still, forcing itself against my will
Away... Away oh fiendish flame of passion
Let me in my sorrow dwell, in my sadness flourish
Let me seek this melancholy that shall forth drive me to the best of myself
Leave me be in this house of memories, drifting away to the place
The place where all i can see is me... alone... full of life...
Away... away I say oh fiendish flame of brotherhood....
Alone i walk this path of pain, alone i stand in the wind
A wind that blows within my hollow heart, whistling a song of madness
It blows away my life... scattering it into the void of a cosmic existence...
Away... Away oh hellish beauty of love...
Broken i remain, and forevermore, i struggle
Against majestic odds, I stand proud
Facing the giants of humanity’s past
And kneel before the pride of its paupers
Away... Away oh hellish song of dreams
Calling me home, calling me closer still
My heart beats one last time, I draw one last breath
I close my eyes, paint a smile and fly
Away... Away to the house I will call my own
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended, and i would like to take this moment to apologize for any. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list (if you were forwarded the mail) then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply.
Thoughtful Email #6 – Wasted Love
A beating heart hastens as the meeting draws near, quick breaths spurt out in the darkness in anticipation of her. She comes into my world like the appearance of a unicorn from out of the clouds, with the sun rising behind her... Gracefully she makes her way across an arid land, with a small breeze blowing in her hair. A surreal sensation takes over me, and i find myself stuck, held in place by some unseen force; unable to move my legs, i try to reach out to her, and touch her, but i am helpless to satisfy my hunger for her.
Yet she keeps floating towards me until she reaches me, and snaps me out of my daze and so begins a story of love. I find myself dedicating my every cell to her pleasure, to her comfort and she receives it gracefully and smiles.... a smile that fuels my passion ever more...
As I begin formulating a future and seeing myself many years down the line, i am pulled back.... hard... to the present time.... and she suddenly seems to be leaving.... in panic i freeze not knowing what to do... and i hear it....
They smile, they frown, they get angry and they miss you... they are friends, and they fill our life, bringing with them happiness and problems uncountable. Friends laughing and calling out to me come rushing from the distance.... a sudden dance of laughter begins, as i keep looking over the horizon to try and find her... get her to remain.... But the rush of friends overwhelms me...
As we go about the usual rituals, i find myself projecting yet again to the future, and smiling as i see myself surrounded by my friends years from now... drinking and cheering as we reminisce the times that have come to pass... and Lo! there do i see her, standing with my friends, smiling at me, reaching out for me...
But then something happens, as i call out to them, they disregard my screams.... as i ask for help, the turn deaf.... as i spasm in pain, they turn blind... and then i heard it... louder... the alarm
As I awake from my slumber, i can feel the last remains of a sweet dream fade away... I awake to find myself in reality, and wish to return into the realm of dreams, but i can not... I get dressed and ready for work... go outside... feel the warmth of the sun on my face....
And thus I go about my day... nostalgic for a wasted love.
Marc Khoury
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Important Notice: You are free to use this text, in full or in part, at your own discretion, all i ask in return is that you give me due credit for my writing, and a copy or reference to where it was used. Any offense is completely unintended, and i would like to take this moment to apologize for any. Should you wish to be removed or added to this mailing list (if you were forwarded the mail) then simply email me with your request, and i shall be glad to comply.